How do you manage the unspoken expectation of managers for employees to be available beyond working hours? Learn the difference between rules and boundaries, and the importance of setting and adhering to realistic boundaries.
There’s an aspect of culture that almost all managers lie about during job interviews – and that’s how fast they expect you to respond outside of regular working hours.
I’ve yet to see a job posting that states, “This position requires you to be on call 24/7. Don’t think that just because it’s Saturday evening and you’ve got Taylor Swift Tickets that your boss won’t demand you drop everything and do that report!”
Nope. They talk about their great work-life balance and flexible schedules!
Some bosses are great and don’t disturb you unless it is a true emergency, while others consider everything to be an emergency and expect you to respond right now.
Can you effectively build boundaries if you’ve got the latter for a boss? Maybe.
I’d love to give a resounding yes, but some bosses are beyond reason and not trainable. But others, you can handle, and here’s what you need to do.
Rules vs. boundaries
Many people mess these up and think they are setting boundaries, but in reality, they are just creating rules. A rule is just that – a rule and people often treat rules like speed limits: something they’ll comply with if there’s a police officer in the area, but otherwise, they do what they want.
When you tell your boss, “Don’t contact me after 5 p.m. or on weekends,” you’re making a rule. And you have no authority to make rules – you’re the employee after all – and your boss will go speeding right past it.
A boundary, on the other hand, is about behavior. Your behavior, not that of your boss.
So, a boundary would look like this: “I turn my work phone off when I leave the office, so I won’t be reachable.” And then you do just that.
That’s a boundary. Your boss can try to violate it, but if your phone is off; it’s off.
You can choose whatever boundary works for you.
“I’ll check my email occasionally, but I’ll only respond in the case of a true emergency.”
Or: “I turn my phone off when I go to sleep so anything after that will wait until morning.”
But the key point in boundaries is carrying them out. You can say, “I won’t check my phone on the weekend,” but if you keep checking your phone on the weekend, you haven’t set a boundary. You’ve just set a rule that even you aren’t following.
